Practical lessons from the book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss

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10 practical lessons from the book "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss:

1. Mirroring: Mirroring is a powerful technique that can help you build rapport and trust with the other person. When you mirror someone, you repeat back to them what they have just said, using their own words. This shows that you are listening and that you understand their perspective.

2. Labeling: Labeling is another powerful technique that can help you understand and manage the other person's emotions. When you label someone's emotion, you simply state what you are observing. For example, you might say, "You seem frustrated" or "You sound worried." Labeling helps the other person to feel heard and understood, and it can also help you to de-escalate a tense situation.

3. Calibration: Calibration is the process of paying attention to the other person's body language and tone of voice in order to understand their true feelings. When you are calibrated to the other person, you will be able to tell when they are being genuine and when they are not. This will help you to avoid being manipulated or misled.

4. The CALM acronym: The CALM acronym stands for Clarify, Acknowledge, Listen, and Mirror. This is a simple but effective framework for negotiating and resolving conflict. By following the CALM acronym, you can ensure that you are understanding the other person's perspective, taking their concerns seriously, and building rapport.

5. Tactical empathy: Tactical empathy is the ability to understand and empathize with the other person's feelings, even if you don't agree with them. Tactical empathy is a powerful tool for negotiation and persuasion, as it can help you to build trust and rapport with the other person.

6. The 5 Whys: The 5 Whys is a simple but effective technique for getting to the root of a problem. By asking "Why?" five times, you can drill down to the core of the issue and identify the real problem.

7. Silence: Silence is a powerful tool that can be used to create leverage and put pressure on the other person. When you use silence effectively, you can force the other person to talk and to reveal their true intentions.

8. Asking open-ended questions: Open-ended questions are questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. They are designed to get the other person talking and to reveal more information. Open-ended questions are a powerful tool for negotiation and persuasion.

9. Active listening: Active listening is the process of paying attention to the other person and responding to what they are saying. It involves more than just hearing what the other person says; it also involves understanding what they are saying and why they are saying it. Active listening is a critical skill for negotiation and persuasion.

10. Don't be afraid to walk away: One of the most important lessons in negotiation is that you should never be afraid to walk away. If you are not getting what you want, you should be willing to walk away from the negotiation. This shows the other person that you are serious and that you are not willing to settle for anything less than what you deserve.

These are just a few of the many practical lessons that can be learned from the book "Never Split the Difference." By following these lessons, you can improve your negotiation and persuasion skills, and you can achieve better outcomes in all of your interactions with others.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/48z6Xzy

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